Forgive affair and face marriage defects

Forgive affair and face marriage defects

Crying out loud is outdated “The times we live in are such times, the best times, and the worst times.

— Dickens’ “Twin Cities” In Mingli’s more than five years of marriage counseling career, in the first two years, he often encountered partners who broke up because of financial problems and incompatible personalities.Increase year by year.

“This is a good time. In marriage, both sexes have more choices and freedoms, but at the same time, it also tempts people: can they have extramarital affairs?

Should I choose a better marriage status?

Many people are having an affair under the complex emotions of boredom, helplessness, and loneliness.

“Tension is that in this mood there is an affair with Miss Li.

Ms. Li’s appearance and education are not as good as her wife, but Zhang Li feels that he is “more like a man in front of Ms. Li, and she has satisfied my vanity”.

After more than a month of dating, Zhang Li rented a house for Miss Li outside, and the sensitive Mrs. Zhang discovered the abnormality of Zhang Li in time: the time to go home is getting late, and the life of husband and wife is a kind of perfunctory.

After investigation, Mrs. Zhang found that Zhang had an affair. “At the beginning I had a strong sense of frustration, and I was very angry, thinking of being inseparable, but then I carefully analyzed my marriage: we still love each other, we haveA 10-year-old son, these are the reasons I want to save the marriage.

With the help of Mingli, Mrs. Zhang started to solve the problems in her marriage. First, she talked openly with her husband. She pointed out the defects in her personality and made herself. Second, she returned on time every night at 6 o’clock.At home, I have dinner with my son and husband; again, she begins to often give gifts to her husband.

Three months later, tension returned to the family.

  Mingli analyzed: “If the couple can face the affair problem, then the problem of extramarital affairs is half solved.

I hope women can treat their affair like Mrs. Zhang rationally. In fact, most Shanghai women are working in this direction.

“Men and women have different return rates after having an affair” There are novels such as “Father Is Back”, but no such novels as “Mother Is Back”. In this regard, we can see that husbands and wives are completely different in their affair.

“Watanabe Junichi’s” This Man “Of course, not all affair can be tolerated and return to the family.

In the cases that Mingli was in contact with, most of the men and women who came to consult still went to divorce.

In the book “Man’s Things”, the author Junichi Watanabe pointed out that the number of affaires of husbands may be large, but the proportion of returning to the family is still high; while the affair of wives is the opposite, once it is difficult to run away from home againLook back.

In the cases that Mingli was exposed to, the proportion of men returning to their families after having an affair did increase.

  Mingli said, “Some men have unmarried women as their affair. As a result, women are getting older and their relationship is deepening.

At this time, the question of whether to divorce is before these men.

Kochi men are more likely to choose a divorce, because they find that their lover has paid for their youth and feelings, but they have not been given a reputation. They hope to make up for the damage to their lover through marriage. When facing their wives, these men feel that money and affection can be serious.Put this pain.

Those with no emotional foundation and low education are more likely to return to their families after an affair.

“Whether men are returning to their families has a lot to do with women’s attitude towards affair.

  Mingli pointed out that most men have an affair, but there are also women who ask questions about affair. The purpose of this part of women is often to ask how to successfully divorce her husband instead of saving it.

  男性外遇来自“从众”心理  “男人用来解释外遇最常见的理由是没有理由,许多男人不相信一夫一妻是‘自然的’,因此觉得他们的外遇不需要‘理由’,他们仍然比较喜欢婚姻(而不是‘自由’),而且没有告诉太太外遇的事。”-” Heidi Report on Sex: Men “It is generally believed that men have an affair many times.

Mingli said that in fact, men are more likely to have an affair, and affair also happens to those men who have succeeded in their careers.

Mingli once encountered a lady who cried and told her low-income husband that she was having an affair.

  Xiaoli’s husband is a courier, diligent and honest, and the monthly salary is about 1,000 yuan, but what makes Xiaoli wonder is that there are often few things at home recently, and they are small things such as napkins, tableware and so on.

After investigation, Xiaoli found that her husband had an affair, and he often secretly gave his family things, even white porridge in a thermos, to his affair.

Xiaoli couldn’t help crying. At dinner, she showed her husband a card: “People are empty and boring to have an affair. You are so busy at work, our feelings are also good, and you actually stole white porridge to give you an affair?

As Xiaoli said, her husband smiled, and almost spit out the rice in his mouth.

The husband confessed that he was having an affair because “every man does this, and he wants to try it.”

  Mingli analyzed that in addition to sexual release and the disharmony between husband and wife, herd mentality is an important reason for many men having an affair, because men who have consulted too much point out that they have potential stress:They demonstrate a strong sexual drive to prove masculinity.

“Due to the suspicions of divorce after an affair” An affair is a crime that hurts both the couple and the third party; it destroys the family and harms the children.

The affair may be caused by external pull (temptation) or internal family thrusts, such as disharmony between husband and wife.

After thinking about it, try to let the other half know the damage you have suffered and show your attitude.

Find a chance to talk to the other half.”— Poney, an American marriage and family therapist?

Although the society’s tolerance for divorce is improving, Weir’s “Forgiveable Crime of affair” is still difficult for middle-aged couples who are divorced because of affair.

Mingli said: “I thought that those children who were going to reach adulthood would find it difficult to accept the reality of their parents’ divorce, but in fact, many children slowly learn to accept this reality after often seeing their parents quarreling and arguing. Sometimes they evenWould advise parents to divorce as soon as possible; but both parents expressed firm opposition to the divorce of their children. Many elderly people called me more than once to ask me to save their children’s marriage, and even threatened that if their children divorced, they would notAlive.

For the “betrayed partner”, how to rebuild confidence, how to re-trust others, and how to face familiar people are really difficult.

Mingli said that most people chose to evade the attitude, they chose to forget this memory, and conditional women re-purchased a house and changed jobs in order to escape the former life circle.

“I hope they can face that history objectively, understand the truth of the affair, and understand the driving force behind the affair.

Mingli found that the divorce rate of marriage with third parties is also quite high. Many men have found out that their wives are the best after experiencing extramarital affairs.

“Our society is developing very fast. Traditional things are getting less and less. People ‘s outlook on life and worldview have changed a lot. So extramarital affairs are getting more and more. I have contacted many people who have extramarital affairs.Wife and third party caused huge damage.

So, my point is to take divorce seriously.

“News Background” In April 2006, a netizen’s “Feng Bing Pei Han Han” caught everyone’s attention.

The title of “Fengdao Penetrating Cold”, because of his working time, was not available to accompany his wife “You Yueer”, his wife fell in love with Warcraft games, joined the “Bronzebeard” union in Warcraft, and finally they met at a player meetingLater he was derailed, and he noticed that “Fengbiao Peguhanhan” forgave his wife’s first betrayal and stopped playing World of Warcraft with his wife in Chapter Three, but he did not expect that “Yuyueer” and “Bronzebeard”Contact, chat content is not suitable for children.

  In this incident, “Fengblade Penetrating Cold” was harmed, and “Yuyueer” and “Bronzebeard” were also morally condemned.

The problem of extramarital affairs in the Internet age has once again attracted public attention. Fortunately, we see that the moral spirit of most people is still constrained by reality and self-discipline. They rationally distinguish right from wrong, and some netizens wrote to”Requirement”, sincerely worded, and advised him to turn back.

However, many netizens think that such an affair is not a big deal. It is human instinct to like the new and hate the old.